…stays together. Isn’t that the way the saying goes? No? Huh. Well, that’s how we feel in our house at least. And honestly, it’s one of the main ways that we are able to crank out so many delicious home-cooked meals while both being extremely busy working professionals. So my SavoryGirl tip for today is two-fold.
First, if you haven’t yet found your partner in life when you’re thinking about who to settle down with make sure it is someone who has similar life goals to you. Now this may sound obvious, but I can’t tell you how many people I have watched be upset when their husband is content eating fast food for dinner but the wife wants to spend time/money/energy on home cooked meals and then ends up bitter because she feels under-appreciated (or vice versa). Well of course she feels under-appreciated. The partner doesn’t really care what he’s eating for dinner! And probably thinks she’s a bit crazy for spending all that time on it so of course he isn’t going to offer to help or get into cooking himself! But honestly, unless you’re a stay-at-home mom or wife it’s really hard to have good home cooked meals on the table if you’re completely on your own…you need a bit of support. Sometimes in the form of a sous chef, others in the form of a dishwasher. And really, sometimes you need a full-fledged back up to do it all. But the only way that’s going to happen is if your partner really wants and enjoys having a home-cooked meal at night. Then, and only then, will they be willing to chip in and help out.
That’s what makes it work so well for Christian and I. Our values about food are similar, and so if I have to work late or just have a bad day he is always willing to take over and do what needs to be done to make sure he (and we) get a good home cooked meal. Over the years this has meant that he has learned a lot about food and cooking as well, which while he may not have done on his own he appreciates and enjoys now.
My second tip is to actually use your resources! So get over the guilt trip. If you have a partner who values home cooking and fresh ingredients ask them to help out whether it’s grocery shopping, doing prep work, cooking part of the meal, doing the dishes, etc… There’s no pride in silently suffering alone and playing the martyr game (nor does it make for a happy relationship). So once you ensure that you’re with someone who has similar values to you call them on doing some of the work to live your life according to those values.
Partnership. That’s the word of a happy and well-fed household.